My thoughts are wildly young

structurally fragrant

My dreams — meandering hopes,

as I walk alongside this firm 

green path of swirling circuitous roads—

lead back to further questions:

Is it offered with empathy? With

a foundation of introspection?

Freedom has never come to me

without great responsibility 

2 February 2018




Ricky reads to keep from dying. The words as crusts of the most luscious bread. I've never known hunger so monumental.

Most likely he would argue the point, yet no matter his reaction, I know what I see.
Even if my analysis falls short of the mark.
My eyes are roving, moving machines.
I see.

Books wake him in the morning and comfort him at night. He reads of war, of political conspiracies, torture, psychology, medicine, Russia, the legacy of this racist landscape . 
He reads Dostoyevsky, Mark Lane, Alice Miller, Judith Herman, MLK Jr., Jimmy Baldwin and on and on.

We have time to work, eat, sleep. 
What remains of us are the books.
They endure.

No friends visit here. Lots of deliveries though. Books, food, computers.
I'm embarrassed by my loneliness when with him. I love books too, but they are not my escape, my company, my lover. Words arranged nicely; poignant, sincere language can be so seductive. They open my eyes, always have. They are not, however, my world.
You must understand his brilliance. It is rare and elegant, but he is also distant, moody and hard to pin down. A man constructed mostly of words doesn't share the same world. 
I look for him, here, there, everywhere.

He is my friend.

Riff No. 2

i consider
the sun's effect
on roses

have u thought about
wild, raging color
against a monochromatic sky?

seems so silly baby.

what are the odds?
the dichotomy lives only in the mind

and still
i reach for you
when you are not here

i don't know how to breach
this gray landscape

pero, the sun beckons
on the other side
i wait


Riff No 1...April 2011

dedicated to. r.c.

by Lauren White on Tuesday, April 26, 2011 at 8:50am

leaves swirl

below time

as if the tree of life


were some raw






a lost jazz standard

dexter howls

and the wind beneath

reveals nothing

but white noise


people still



and yet

i manage to only

catch glimpses


as they reach my



gathering at my feet


i lost my feelings for u today
ive searched around the the apartment for them
went out into the world searching the ground
for them
called my friends
asked if they had seen them
been carrying em around for months
doesn't seem right
i could lose them so quickly
without a fight
just the loss of love
drippin out thru various places
along the bottom
of a grief filled opening
that had your name
attached to the gate


genius and the problem of appropriation

poem #1


nappy heads

    tell the stories



did ya see thelonious monk dance

'round the piano

his hat

bout ta fall off his head


the man's

   bastard nut 

safe distance away

tho we could hear him holler


tell the stories

    tell the stories

       tell the stories



i had discovered myself in many different places

over time, and sought to walk, head held high, thru all of them.

but, there i stood, in your eyes, seeing what was lacking...

the images burned...




blieve in the power

of destiny


i held myself against

the raw mirror of experience

u wuz put in my path

and i got to watch u

for a little while


that wuz cool. real cool


La Noches De Cuba

 the waves crash

against my resistance 

even as they move

 outside my window

they roar and insist.

as you do

es porque te amo, y, te quiero...mi corazon

Sudden Death 

we cud write it like a football play
or a missed basket
cuz you know
you mens like ta act like its all
the same
ya didnt hear or respond
cuz u was too busy
seeing weird things in ur head
that kinda looked like me
but had no taste
all cuz u said u was tired
an sore
and i left ya alone
i could
lay down with a man
that looks nuthin like u
has no sense of touch
or that
ta get me thru
then i wud be like the weird thing in ur head
you would feel mo betta
what u wuz dreamin
came true
in ur life time
yet again
i dont know you
well enuf
to go into ur private movies
ur strange daydreams
u said u would treat us wit care
like we deserved
but ya still aint


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